phases of the moon
by nemoisawesome
Summary: Renesme is finally 18 years old and can go to school everything was going perfect until she finds out interesting secrets jacob and the family have been keeping from her now everything doesnt go as planned and her life takes an interesting twist


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I awoke form a long nights sleep. Grateful that i actually could sleep, dream, and escape reality for a while unlike the rest of my family. Reality was so fleeting in my eyes because everything was always changing so quickly. My body changes so fast that i have to stay confined in my house with my family without any contact with the other half of me. The human half.

I understood of course i couldn't go to any school or have any contact with the human world or else they would know my secret, dangering my life once again from the Vultori. But thank goodness soon things would change, after all today is my 18th birthday. The day i was waiting my entire life for. The day my body stops changing.

This is the year i can finally go to a school, and have contact with humans, and enter a world i have never experienced before. Unlike the rest of my family. Ever since i was 12 i had it all figured out . I had my story set, i knew exactly how i would fit in, and i had everything ready with no 'What ifs' in mind.

Ceasing my thoughts Bella, Esme, Rosalie, and Alice entered my room and all said in unison "happy birthday renesmee"!

I stood up and hugged every single one of them Alice froze for a short moment she looked a bit frustrated it didn't take me long to understand why. "Alice" i said in a sympathetic tone.

I knew Alice was mad because she couldn't see the turnout of this day. Alice feels lost without her ability to see the future and all that sense is lost with me and Jacob, because she cant see our future at all. Alice thinks she can somewhat see the future of humans because she was one, she can vividly see the future of vampires because she is one and she cant see half breeds futures like me or Jacob at all because she never was one. Although i was quite glad i was one of Alice's blind spots i got away with many things.

To lighten up the mood i said "hey Alice cheer up i know this party is going to turn out great after all you planned it and i have a feeling it will be one of the best days of my life" i said, emphasizing the last word."You don't need visions to know that!".

she looked even more mad and finally said, "that's nice but now i have two things to be mad about. First of all i cant see your future at all and secondly you weren't supposed to know about the party! how did you know?" she said whining and even whining her voice was still beautiful like a melody so graceful like most vampires are.

"well it gets easier after living so many years with you well 7 technically but still" i trailed off.  
They all looked at me eagerly i felt as if i was their experiment and the experimentation was about to begin. Rosalie almost shouted "you cant believe the outfit i made for you with Alice its beautiful you have to wear it today!"

"yes Nessie you absolutely have to" Alice said in agreement.

"she doesn't have to do anything"said my mother Bella (short for Isabella) "unless she wants to" she continued after her short pause

Bella hated birthdays in her human life she doesn't want to pressure me in that way at all but i knew she was hoping i would go along. "come on" Alice said tugging on my arm "we have a lot of work to do the guests are arriving soon!".

"guests"? i shouted

"uh oh" Alice said "you didn't know well now the surprise is all ruined i thought you knew"  
I laughed at her angry face its not really something to get worked up about

"well now you have to tell me who's coming or i refuse to get ready".

Rosalie cut in the conversation and she said "well Nessie you don't really have a choice its two against one who do you honestly think will win?"

i heard triumph in her voice "Bella and Edward will help me you know how it is with Bella and birthdays and after all Edward is my dad so its three against two who do you think will win?" i emphasized victory in my voice.

"Fine" they both groaned in synchronization

"lets get ready first we don't have much time" alice reminded me.

We blazed down the stairs and started decorating the house, we wrapped all the trees and practically the whole house in bright colorful lights and beautiful ribbons. The atmosphere was so peaceful and beautiful around us. Alice filled all the glistening crystal bowls with flowers they were freesia and multicolored roses i suppose, The smell was sweet and lovely. And i made dinner and bought cake i bought Jacob's favorite and 4 other cakes just in case Seth and Leah prefer something else. i bought chocolate cake, fruit cake, cheesecake, vanilla and strawberry. The rest of my family of course couldn't eat the cake, i could, but i preferred blood . But the cakes gave the whole birthday atmosphere around us. And The werewolves wouldn't have a hard time finishing them up.

Jacob and the rest of his pack need a lot of energy to remain healthy so they eat alot and very quickly. I wondered if i should get something more for him. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Alice shouting into my ears "go get dressed the guests are almost here hurry before the boys come back from hunting!".

she looked as if she was nervous or like she was somehow struggling. That was strange Alice was so sure of everything because she knows the outcome of it. Well it must have had something to do with me and blinding her. I pushed that thought aside and focused on my priorities now.

I ran to my room and found lying there at the edge of my bed the most gorgeous dress i have ever seen. It was a flowy short dress, i preferred those more since its easier to move around in them. And the color was absolutely beautiful a color only vampire eyes would see correctly. Human eyes could not precept the full beauty of it. It was almost a cerulean with hints of cyan blue and turquoise. It was made of the finest silk and chiffon i could smell the quality of the fabric. It was strapless. very delicate, and it actually had real diamonds, emeralds, and pearls embedded in it trailing down smoothly from the top in the shape of a my whole torso in these beautiful stones. And waist down it was more subtle, but definitely not plain it sparkled just as almost as vampires did in the sunlight. I didn't sparkle but i glowed.

I ran and i hugged Rosalie and Alice, and said "oh my god! Thank you guys so much its so beautiful and i sincerely thank you this isn't just an ordinary dress i know it came form the heart".

Alice and Rosalie embraced me back and Alice said "oh thank god Renesmee i couldn't see if you would like this i was so anxious its such a relief you like it you have no idea how much weight has been taken off my shoulders".

I wasn't surprised by Alice's overreaction after all fashion was everything to her.

Rosalie smiled a heart warming smile and said "it truly did come from my heart i love you very much Renesmee even before you were born. I am so glad you are happy with it".

"How long did it take you to make it?" i asked

Rosalie smiled and said "That's for us to know"

"And for you to never find out" continued Alice She laughed with Rosalie. I smiled a huge smile and kicked them out of my room so i can get dressed.

I stepped out of my room to see an anxious Alice and Rosalie grinning hugely at me Alice shrieked in excitement it almost hurt my ears "oh my god Nessie you look drop dead gorgeous in that dress"

i felt a little shy when i received compliments i blushed a little and said "umm..thanks"

Alice grabbed my by the shoulders and shook me very hard saying "no you don't understand i have never seen anything this beautiful before. that dress on you rivals everything i ever wore"

Istared incredulously at the pixie, i called Alice a pixie because of her petite frame and short hair. she was adorable she reminded me of pixies and faeries though she had a little more spunk kind of like Tinkerbell without the blond hair.

Rosalie pushed Alice back rescuing me "Alice calm down" she said to her i laughed at the overeager and the maternal vampires before me and to think humans linked us with coffins, fangs, garlic cloves, and crosses. I wonder where they ever derived such thoughts from.  
Rosalie's full lips pulled up into a beautiful smile and said to me "Nessie you do look absolutely breathtaking and to think we haven't even done your makeup yet you will surely even look more beautiful than me".

I felt tears sliding down my cheeks Rosalie had never ever said that to anyone before she was the most beautiful creature in the world. She rivaled humans, vampires, females, males, everything. I brought myself closer to her and wrapped my arms around her neck pulling her into a tight embrace. Rosalie was somewhat like my third mother i of course had Bella, and Esme was motherly towards everyone. but i had a mother daughter connection with Rose as well.

She gave me a confused look and ran her fingers down my face wiping away my tears she looked at me almost hurt and asked me "whats wrong dear?"

I laughed and said "its nothing, its just that you have never said that to anyone before and especially coming from you its so meaningful and rose i will never be in comparison to your beauty so don't even think that"

Rosalie was just about to contradict me when Alice cut in and huffed tapping her foot angrily at us she had her lean arms folded across her chest and said "I'm sorry to break up this love fest but according to my visions i need to do your hair and makeup fast"

She grabbed my hand and we ran quickly to her bathroom to do my makeup. Vampires don't need much makeup to begin with, like foundation and moisturizers because our skin is naturally perfect. But the trivial things here and there mattered, like eye shadow, lipstick, and nail polish. Those could be changed like put on taken off and stuff like that. But the hair for the vampires is the hardest part since hair is technically dead cells the vampire transformation doesn't affect it at all. It will be like the way you had it, unlike the rest of the body it wont turn magically beautiful it would stay the same so the rest of the family spends particularly a lot of time doing their hair, especially Rosalie. Alice has short hair because they had shaved it off in the asylum and her hair didn't grow much before she became a vampire. So her hair stayed short forever. my hair however grew and i had to care for it the same way that humans did.

Alice interrupted my thought by asking me "so what do you think?".

I was so wrapped in my thoughts that i hadn't even realized Alice was doing my hair. She straightened my hair from the bangs at the front and she put some products in it to keep it soft and shiny. Half of my thick ringlets were lifted up high with a beautiful clip it matched the color of my dress and it too had pearls and diamonds embedded in it. and the rest of my hair hung down naturally and gracefully it reached the small of my back.

I turned to Alice and said "thanks Alice its really pretty".

I didn't want to say more to encourage Alice for further action. She loves dressing up anyone and everyone, and i would certainly not give her that opportunity. She seemed to like my answer though because she was squealing and bouncing. But then again Alice always did that. She chose a navy eyeliner for me and many different shades of blue for the eye shadow. The bottom of my lids were covered with a midnight blue and the color was gradually getting lighter the higher you go eventually leading to a powder blue. My nails were also done but i didn't want to go overboard on the blue so i just had a simple french manicure.

After i was done i could hear about a mile away the sound of four people running toward this area i knew it was jasper, Edward, Emmet, and Carlisle. I went down stairs ready to greet them and ready for them to shower me with happy birthdays and hugs. As soon as i was downstairs Carlise hugged me and said "happy birthday my favorite grand daughter"

I laughed and said " I'm your only grand daughter"

He replied " yes that's true but i couldn't ask for a better one"  
i was so touched by his words, i remembered i had to reply and i said truly from my heart "and i couldn't ask for a better grandfather either Carlisle".

It didn't feel right calling him my grandfather his body was in its late 20's but it was that kind of respect he deserved.

Now it was Emmet's turn he gave me a big bear hug and picked me up and shouted "happy birthday squirt"  
"thanks uncle Em".  
I was used to calling him uncle since i was young i always felt he was much bigger than me than the rest of my family . He said "you don't have to call me that anymore your 18 now"

I smiled and said "yeah but i want to. Plus i know it makes you feel bigger than you already are are so why not "  
He let out his huge booming laughter put me down and said "sure does" with a smile. He let me go and let jasper have his turn.

Jasper didn't have to change my mood i was already very happy and he could sense that. He hugged me and said "happy 18Th birthday Renesmee ".

He walked by me not saying much. I knew jasper loved me though he wasn't quite a talkative person. He kept his feelings inside of him which was sort of ironic considering his ability to sense and change the emotions of everyone around him.

Finally Edward my father came to me with a huge grin on his face and hugged me very tightly he said " i hope you have a very happy birthday! my daughter is all grown up now and you are very beautiful and smart and basically the perfect daughter i am so lucky to have you, you and Bella are the 2 most special ladies in my life".

I smiled and i teared i was the only one in my family who was able to do that being half human and all. I got the best of traits from each species  
i hugged him tightly and said "i love you too and you know from reading my mind that i too couldn't ask for a better father i am so so happy you are pleased with me".

Alice came down and said "okay, okay enough of all the love here I'm very happy that you guys are happy but the party starts in 10 minutes and everyone is coming right now"

Yes Alice was right everyone was coming right now. I think i heard more than 20 different people coming toward our house. I knew Alice would make this into a big bash but i didn't expect this many and right then out of the ferns and trees came out Jacob. He was my best friend for as long as i can remember, and i remember my life ever since i was a baby. I ran into his arms and hugged him so tight, he picked me up and hugged me and said "happy birthday Nessie, wow you look...... wow".

I giggled at his trouble with coherency at the moment. He freed me form his arms and i looked at him and he was even more beautiful than usual now. He was wearing a long black tuxedo it fit him perfectly, He tied his long glossy black hair into a tidy ponytail, he looked so Handsome.  
Jacob usually wore cut off style jeans and sweat pants without tops, because its easier for him to phase without all those clothes. After a minute of staring at him i remembered i had to say something. As soon as i opened my mouth i was having trouble with my coherency as well and i mimicked him by saying "Jacob wow you look .... wow".

We hugged our warm bodies close together. I was the only warm one in my family, They all had icy cold skin and i had a very warm body. So did Jacob and the rest of the Shape Shifters they always had a high temperature it was nice to know we were alike in some way.

Suddenly i felt a cold tap on my shoulder blade, I turned around and i saw Zafrina, i was very surprised it was usually me who visited her. When i was young i loved Zafrina and her pretty pictures which now i realize was just her ability to create illusions with her mind, And they are not always pretty. She and the other members of her coven senna and kachiri they looked exactly the same as i remembered them from when i was young. They were all wild and wore very eccentric clothing consisting mostly of animal skins and tight leather. They were also very tall every part of them was long from their face and legs to their fingertips and hair.

I ran up to zafrina and gave her a huge hug i touched her cheek and showed her i missed her so much. zafrina was used to me communicating with her using my ability rather than talking out loud and she spoke to me with her illusions as well. I later then hugged senna and kachiri though i was closer to zafrina than either of them.

I decided i had to talk loudly out of politeness so everyone could hear at once. So i said " i have missed you guys so much i cant believe you came all the way from the amazon just for my birthday!".

Zafrina said "of course we came we wouldn't miss your birthday for the world!!".

"And neither would we" said a beautiful voice from behind me it was Tanya and the Denali coven.  
I hugged all of them Tanya, Carmen, Eleazar, Kate, and also Garrett. Garret became Kate's mate when he came to forks to witness that i was not an immortal child. He used to be an American nomad, but he is now peacefully living with Kate and their coven. I couldn't help but notice everyone in the Denali coven was dressed very beautifully, Even more than usual. I think i saw Alice looking at Kate's dress on the Internet or something. The Dress was long and crimson red it tied back around her neck and flowed gracefully down. And i guess i am right because Alice suddenly came up to Kate and started talking about her outfit.  
I heard her say "why Kate that is such a lovely dress! i saw it online fresh off the runway in France".

Kate smiled agreeing and said "yes Alice i purchased it on my last visit to France and you truly have an eye for fashion".

I left them to talk amongst themselves. Carmen came up to me and said "Feliz cumpleaños renesmee. Te he extrañado tanto, te ves mucho más bonita ahora".

I replied her saying "aw thanks Carmen! and I've missed you too and you look absolutely stunning in that dress"

she replied "thank you Nessie".

Tanya gave me an awkward look from top to bottom giving me somewhat of a fake smile. I could always tell when people were being genuine and when they were being just plain fake. I knew Tanya didn't really like my family that much especially me and my mom. Tanya used to have a huge crush on Edward and was always trying to seduce him she wanted to be his mate but he kept refusing. And Bella was nothing but kind to her she was always intimidated by Tanya before her transformation. and Tanya obviously felt some hostility towards me as well. Tanya didn't come around much either thank god, because i didn't like her either. She didn't choose not to visit so much to spare my unfondness of her, but because she knew jasper could sense the lust coming off of her to Edward, the jealousy from her to my mother, and the hostile feelings towards me. She knew Alice could see all of her decisions she was making. And worst of all she knew Edward could read her thoughts. He of course refused to tell me anything though, but i could see how awkward it is for Tanya, Bella, and Edward to be in the same room. It was actually quite funny

I loved that all these people where coming to visit me, but right now what i really wanted was alone time with Jake. I walked off gracefully looking for his handsome face, and finally his eyes met mine.

**JACOBS POV**

Finally Renesmee is done with all the small talk! I haven't seen her in 4 days and i couldn't take it anymore. I was itching to talk to her, and when her big beautiful doe brown eyes stared into mine i was so happy i couldnt describe my feelings. She is the most beautiful person in the world. I wondered to myself how can i deserve such beauty. She started walking towards me and i just stood there like an idiot. She came next to me and wrapped her hand around mine, I held hers tighter and caressed her fingers with my thumb.

She looked at me and said "i have missed you so much Jacob lets go sit down and talk"

"you have no idea how much i missed you, and sure it would be great to get away from this smell its burning through my nose" I replied.

She grimaced and stuck her little tongue at me she said "Jacob you know that's my family you're talking about and their friends".

I laughed a little and said "well its only natural i stink to them and they burn my nostrils"

she laughed and said "you smell nice to me"

I smiled at her then murmured to myself "you smell intoxicatingly wonderful to me".

i forgot that nessie could hear me even when i was muttering to myself it was her acute sense of hearing all vampires acquired. We shapeshifters could also hear very sharply, but not like the bloo- i mean vampires. I was used to calling them bloodsuckers and leaches but Renesmee is one of them. Well at least half of her is, and i wouldnt want to offend her in that way at all.  
She blushed and said "i dont even burn your nostrils a little?"

I scowled playfully at her and said "nope you smell well ... you smell wonderful". And she did smell wonderful. The other vampires smelled sweet but sickly sweet extreme enough to burn through my nostrils. Her smell was something words couldn't describe. She smelled inhumanly sweet without burning through me and driving me mad. No flower, no perfume, no scent, can match hers, she was one of a kind.

She led me up the stairs to the 3rd floor into what seemed to be a library. I could sense she could see the confused look on my face. She touched my cheek and showed me the memory of what Esme had said to her about refurnishing her room earlier.  
I laughed a little and said "well this seems nice and private. so umm is this is where you guys do things that are basically illegal like document forgery and computer hackery and all kinds of other shady stuff".

She laughed and smacked me on the back of my neck. She said "well at least jasper doesn't have to harass all the time, that mans getting really old now. A heart attack isnt something that he needs".

I shot her a confused look again, she showed me a memory of long ago when she was still young the day the volturi came. Her mother my best friend bella was placing a back pack on her back. And she reminded me of the fake passports and the drivers license and the other stuff.

I said "oh" and laughed after that. I looked at her and said "you know your mother had some nerve putting Wolfe as our last name though it was pretty funny".  
And it really was, i was thankful that was what Bella had planned for me and Nessie if the situation got bad. And i was truly thankful to her for that. The idea of me losing Renesmee forever would be unbearable, unheard of. I had no life without her so i wouldn't succumb myself to live on if she were ever gone.

I suddenly gave her a hug, she hugged me back and i felt a strong urge to kiss her. But no i couldn't, i wouldn't, i cant force her into that! I would have to be whatever she wanted me to be. A lover, a protector, a brother as long as i was around her.

And suddenly my thoughts were silenced with her warm lip pressing onto mine. She kissed me softly getting deeper with the kiss as the moments passed by. It was so beautiful, it was so natural, and her breath hypnotized me. I pulled away without any force, just naturally. Her sweet breath lingered in my mouth it was so delicious.  
She looked at me with shy eyes, almost apologetic i wondered why. She bit her lip and said in a tentative voice "was that okay?".

I looked at her dumbfounded by that was actually asking me if it was okay!? Of course it was okay it was more than a damn okay it was the most beautiful moment in my life! I have never felt such a strong sense of emotion like that. my whole life changed with that one kiss. I stared at her blankly with my mouth wide open and tears started pooling in her eyes. She must have thought i hated it.

I quickly blurted out "that was" i couldn't find the right word to say i gulped and said "perfect.... that was absolutely perfect".

I put my finger under her eyes and smoothly wiped away the tears. I stared at her and said "why are you crying?".

A sudden pool of blood rushed to her cheek and i knew she was too embarrassed to put it into words, So she showed me the memory of her feelings. She thought that i hadn't liked her that much yet, that i was disgusted by her rash decision. I stared deep into her doe brown eyes which were oh so deep and i said

"Nessie don't you ever dare think like that! it was beyond perfect so natural, so beautiful". Her cheeks became even more red she was shyer even now.

I cleared my throat and said "so...umm...where does this leave us?"

"i guess we could go steady now. I mean if thats what you want." she asked hesitantly

"Nessie of course it is. And i would love to!" i answered truthfully

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She laid her head on my arm and said "hm".

i replied "what hm?"

she said "well i was thinking, and how some when i was born you stuck around so much? I mean the vampire smell practically burned your nostrils! Not that i didn't want you around. But why where you always around me".

I was struck by her words like a lighting bolt what was i supposed to tell her? I had to tell her the answer that she wanted. My imprint on her was too strong for me no to give her what she wants. But i knew it was wrong, i knew she wasn't ready for it, i knew that if i told her it would ruin everything. I don't want her to think her first boyfriend was just her boyfriend because of a mystical magical wolf thing. But i knew she had to know one day. I even carefully planned out how i would tell her. And now this is all ruined because of one little question. But still i had no choice, i had to give her what she wanted. Even if it was against my will what was i supposed to tell her i imprinted on her? she doesn't even know what that is! No one ever told her, but the wolf side of me won. I had to give her what she wanted. And i finally blurted out "i imprinted on you"

**Renesmee Pov**

"What"? i asked Jacob it was so classical him i asked him a simple question and he replies with the weirdest answer! "what does imprinting mean?"i asked him. He looked like he was struggling as if he didn't want to tell me what was on his mind like as if he was stopping himself from saying the words but finally he sucked in a breath of air and started to speak

"its its its"

he was stuttering so badly i looked at him confused and asked "whats wrong Jake?"

"nothing.. nothing" he said

"well are you going to tell me what it is?" i asked confused he looked down on the floor and started to answer me

"well you know how I'm a werewolf?"

"yeah" i answered him tentatively i had no idea what this was was leading to.

"well there are many things that we do that you never heard of before".

"Like"? I asked confused. why wouldn't Jake tell me that before what was so important that he needed to keep from me I asked myself. I ignored the little voice in my head and told Jacob to go on.

"i need you to listen Nessie and i don't want you to get mad at me its beyond my control"

i squinted m eyebrows in confusion what was bothering Jake so much i felt like it was urgent for me to know now "i promise I'll try not to get mad"

he looked down at the floor and blurted out "well this is what basically happened to me the first second i laid eyes on you Everything inside me came undone as I stared at your tiny porcelain face All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was – my love for Bella, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self – disconnected from me in that second and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. and it was you"

I was even more confused by his words. I mean his love for bella? what was he saying/ i truly did not understand did i have some magical hold on him this is why being a half vampire and dating a werewolf would complicate things we were already too deep in the mythical magical world. were we heading in deeper? i didn't know why but i felt a big change coming i finally stopped asking myself internal questions and touched Jacobs cheek to show him i truly didn't understand he nodded his head and he finally started to say

"this isn't easy for me to say but it isn't the way you think us wolves we have a legend were we imprint we basically find our soul mate that was intended for us the second we see them"

i was struck in horror a million thoughts floated through my head Jacob loved me since i was a baby why hadn't he told me this should this be flattering or weird what other secrets was he keeping from me i touched his cheek again and not gently i almost slapped him i couldn't find the right words to say so i said them all in my thoughts his brow furrow creased he locked eyes with mine and said "see i knew you were going to overreact Nessie its not like that at all! i mean come on imprinting is totally up to you i fall in love with you and you have a choice for me to be an older brother a protector a boyfriend whatever you want me to be i will be there for you! when i said you were the center of my world i wasn't joking i was dead serious there is nothing tying me to the earth but you do you think i wasn't planning to tell you this i had it carefully thought out every little aspect of the day i was going to tell you but when you imprint on someone you have to give them what they want no matter what you have to give up yourself for them why do you think i never denied you in what you wanted that's why i answered your question you though i had a choice but i really didn't to you its a simple question to me its a demand"

tears started pooling in my eyes again so all this love Jacob had for me was from the mystical magical wolf forces on earth this complicated things even more i guess i was wrong when i told Alice it will be the best day of my life it turns out it was the worst and Alice probably sees nothing now me and Jacob are both her blind spots now but i think its better that way i don't want the whole family to be chasing me and bothering me my world was altered enough as it is i needed some time off big time off because basically everything i ever though to be true was altered what other secrets could there be doesn't Jacob understand its extremely weird for me to be with someone who is forced to love me because of mystical forces can he comprehend that or not because either way i needed time to think time to understand time to make sense of what just happened and now knowing my power over him would force him to give me that time though i truly loved Jacob from the bottom of my heart i needed my own time and i hope he understood that i showed him all that went through my thoughts the shock still hadn't allowed me to speak.

He started crying and i have never seen him crying before! He never liked to show fear or sadness he tried to be manly too much but i hurt hm and enough to make him cry he bid me farewell with his last words as of now he said

Nessie no matter what i always want you to know i always will love you. I will give you your time but when you need me i will be there in a heartbeat. Please, please let me come back one day this isn't easy for me at all but it was your command and i have to give you what you want i love you"

He came next tot me and he wanted to hug me to say goodbye i pushed him away though not wanting any affection between us right now. The hurt was obvious in his eyes he gave me a quick nod and said "goodbye".

He opened the window and jumped out racing into the forest i curled myself up into a ball and cried my eyes out. There were many unanswered questions flowing through my head, and i certainly did not want Jacob to answer them right now. I simply could not face him.

I tried to keep the horror inside of me but it was just too much. I gulped and said to myself its better this way. No doubt every vampire could hear me crying right now and Edward could read my mind. But he knows i want no one to know what happened and he knows i just wanted to be alone now so i credited him for the reason no one has come up here to harass me with questions and attempt to help me out. None of it would do good anyway.

I needed time to think on my own. I knew i had all the time in the world, But i felt as if it was very limited. The party went on Edward knowing that if the party was stopped it would be much worse for me. I simply cannot ruin everybody's fun just because i am in pain now. It was my choice after all.

I lifted my head up and it felt very, very heavy. I stared at the clock it was 8:00 pm i was Lying here all day. I felt as if Jacob just left a few short minutes ago not 5 hours ago. I hugged my torso tightly, so tightly a few of the precious stones fell out of my dress. My saltwater tears have soiled it. If it weren't under these circumstances i knew Alice would be mad at me. But since its not she wouldn't be. I massaged my temples and drifted off to sleep.

I was later awakened by Alice softly shaking me.

"come on renesmee go to your bed and sleep. I know you don't want to talk now but we'll talk later the guests are leaving and you cant stay here all night. You'll be much more comfortable on your bed.

"Yeah. Right." i snickered with no humor

"What time is it?" i asked groggily.

"Its 11:30" she said

"I dont feel like moving." i said

Alice bent down and picked me up. I didnt care i knew i wasn't heavy to her and it didnt make much of a difference where i slept. My first "relationship" ended 5 minutes after it began. And all these secrets kept from me all along were all bought back in one shot. If my family thought i was only mad at jacob now, they had aother thing coming.


End file.
